Clearest Days
by Morei Shines
Summary: A mix of KilluGon or Killua/Gon centered drabbles. (Summaries before each story)
1. Fingertips

_Hi! So this is where I plan to keep all my drabbles. Some fit with the current fics I have, others are written because I'm in a bad mood. I hope you enjoy them._

Summary: Gon's thoughts on Killua's fingers and hands.

* * *

Gon's fingertips caressed along Killua's pale ones, remembering each crease and wrinkle upon them. Memorizing were along the joints they folded, stretching the skin in such a way, it could only belong to the teen next to him. His amber colored eyes recorded into mind each curve, bump, as well as where they began to become rough in texture. He didn't forget to store in the way that some of Killua's fingernails were slightly longer than others or that they were not perfectly cut and filed. Nor how his pale flesh was lighter at the palms.

However, of everything that Gon remembered about Killua's hands, it was the warmth that emitted from them. To Gon, it was like holding life itself in the palm of his hands. A source of a flame that had been sparked in the dead of night, to seek comfort. It was silly, the way Gon thought of Killua and his touch that he craved for, but kept so hushed in between his chapped lips that ached for the taste of Killua's.

Gon felt a need burning deep, confined in the depths of his heart that beat to one tune. That very song being the life-force that sat next to him. That his right hand was linked to in an innocent manner, although Gon's inner thoughts were anything but pure.


	2. Lost In Thought

Summary: Killua reflects on his wants and needs, while he thinks of the past and promises.

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He stands lost in his mind wondering where he's from and where's he's been. He's long forgotten the ring of laughter, and the sound of her voice. He can't even remember the way their cat use to call out for food or how it roared when it was forced to take a bath.

Killua's memories were blank, dead for the most part. At least, that's what he believed every now and again. It was safer when he couldn't recall the past. It kept him from wanting more than what he had. More than he was allowed to get or even be given.

Still, he craved for something more. For someone more. No, that someone wasn't his sister, nor was it their cat that they had sworn to raise together until they became old. Their lives being spent on rocking chairs that stood on the front patio of some nice house they saved up for and bought together because they didn't need anyone but each other.

Oh, what a lie that was.

Killua needed someone, and it wasn't her anymore the voices said. It came in the form of a man; tall, tanned, and hair so dark it could blend with the night sky when it lacked twinkling stars. That was whom Killua needed. No, needed was too strong of a word. He didn't _need_ that man. He _wanted_ that man.

The man who brought a smile to his face with their stupid, silly talks about nothing, yet everything under the sun.

Love. What a powerful thing.

Was this even love?

Maybe longing was a better term to name what Killua was feeling for the man who lived just a floor above him. Killua felt his being become lost, empty and confused. A curtain of unknown feelings and emotions clouding his judgment.

What was is that he wanted? That he truly needed? A puff of air left his lips, clear blue eyes search and seeking as they stared at the streets below. Soon everything is falling, and before he knew it, his world was black. The last sound he made being that of a gasp.

Arms hold him tight; warm and comforting. Killua feels at ease, those tan fingers linked, and gently caressing him. There's a voice coming from behind, a little high, and feminine. Telling them to come in, and that dinner is ready. Quickly warning them that if they didn't enter the home fast enough it would be served to the cat.

There was something that Killua wanted; whatever it was no longer matters. He has something far more than he could ever ask for. It's a pair, and they make him happy to be alive.

* * *

 _A little thing for Trees &Trust, because I felt like shit and needed to express some things. This doesn't give a hint at all of how the story is really going to end. If anything, it's just a possible outcome of what could have happened._


	3. Somethings

Summary: Gon thinks about what he said to Killua. Killua admits something he's finally been opened up to.

* * *

For a moment, Gon felt like he had distanced himself from Killua. Each and every word he had spoken earlier that day had come out too harsh, and perhaps too blunt. Times like these, Gon questioned if he was being too honest or if Killua was right and Gon didn't think before he spoke. The latter one seemed correct, rather than the first.

Gon didn't think often, at least not one-hundred percent. When he did, everything was too late. Much like now that he sat on the balcony floor, back slightly leaning against his orange tree. The nineteen-year-old was watching the moon become covered by the clouds as harsh winter winds blew and touched his naked skin.

Regret; it hit hard.

Gon's amber eyes locked with the night sky, which brought upon the talk again. He knew where he went wrong, but all at the same time Killua had needed to hear it. Killua had to understand that while he wasn't to blame for the situation he was stuck in, he was to blame for letting it happen again and again.

Killua needed to cut himself out of the perfect picture that he was painting and pretending was the life he shared with his boyfriend when it was far from the fact. At the same time, Gon tried with all his might to see why it was that Killua kept up with this game.

He couldn't.

Hands gripping at his damp hair that sagged, Gon sighed harshly, the warm vapor within him visible. He needed to say that he was sorry to Killua. Not to feel better about himself, but to let the other, who he'd fallen so hard for, know that he had stepped out of line. It didn't matter if Gon believed that he was right.

Sometimes, Gon needed to throw his stubborn ways out the window and show that he could suck up his pride. Most of all, what Gon wanted was to talk to Killua again, to help him take steps back from where he was, instead of forward.

Gon was stupid, and he knew it.

He wasn't, but some situations call for different steps and actions. What kind of actions, Gon didn't have the slightest idea. Still, as the cold air bit at his arms, causing the hairs to stand, he questioned what exactly he needed to do to get Killua to see everything that was wrong, and finally take matters into his own hands.

One thing Gon did know, he couldn't make Killua do anything. It was up to Killua to make the final choice on his own.

With another sigh, the starlit world around Gon was sealed in silence. A door being slid along metal breaking it in half, only moments later. There was a voice, soft in tone, but loud in volume speaking in a fraction of a second, making Gon gasp out before a tiny smile came to his lips.

"You're right," Killua spoke out, half of his form out of his home, the other still inside. Bare, pale feet were planted against the white carpet, not making any moves to leave the home and enter the balcony. Even so, that didn't stop Killua from saying what he needed to, "I am partly at fault. It is time for change, bu—"

"But you can't do it alone," Gon cut off the male who lived downstairs. He didn't move either, only talk out to the cold night air, the second part of his speech coming out as a question, "Can you?"

"I can," Clear blue eyes shut, Killua's vision going black. Killua's heart was beating faster, harder. If it was a rhythm of fear or nervousness, he didn't know. One thing that he did, it was that change was going to happen, but it all started with admitting, "I don't want to do it alone,"

Amber gaze shifted from the moon and clouds, only to stay planted on the floor, "You'll never have to do anything alone, unless you want to." Gon breathed out. His words were a promise. One that he would keep to heart from that day on. Killua would have him forever, much like he currently held Gon's heart, unknowingly.

"Okay," Killua answered and slowly pulled back into his home. An anxiousness ate away at him as he gripped the door and began to close it. "Goodnight, Gon." He spoke one last time before the door was shut and the lock was set in place.

A change was about to start, but all Killua wanted to do was take Gon's hand before he barged into the mess what would be the aftermath.

"Goodnight, Killua." Gon shut his eyes, head leaning back. Dull fingernails scraped at the cement floor, a smile sealed on Gon's lips. Something good was about to happen, once the bad was vanquished. It would take time for everything to line up. However, to Gon only one thing mattered, Killua wasn't angry with him.

* * *

 _I'm really bad when it comes to comforting people. Sometimes I'm too blunt and say things how they are. I wrote this after I did such a thing. Then I got to thinking, if I want Gon to do just that with Killua or if I want Gon to take a softer approach when they finally have a serious talk in Trees &Trust. I have yet to decide…_


End file.
